Aku takkan mengalah......

Sejak usia yang mentah
Aku telah melangkah
Mengenali... hidup yang getir...
Pada tingkat dewasa
Aku lebih tercabar
Kehidupan dalam penitian
Onak duri datang silih berganti...
Aku tak pernah menyerah
Walau badai yang melimpah
Ku aturi tiap langkah dengan gagah
Keringat ku yang mengalir
Perjuangan tak berakhir
Sehinggalah ke hujung titian
Garis yang menamatkan
Perjalanan...
Tangis dalam senyum tiada insan yang tahu
Tiada insan yang bakal mengerti
Jalanan ku tidak seindah mimpi oh...
Tangis dalam senyum ku tiada insan yang tahu
Bahagia... deritaku...
Sebatang kara... oh... hm... m...

I KNOW MY LIFE IS NOT SWEET AS OTHERS....TOO MANY FAILURES THAT I FACED THROUGH AND TOO MANY BARRIERS THAT I HAVE TO FACE ON AND I'M SURE ALLAH GIVE ME SOME STRENGTH TO OVERCOME ALL THE POSSIBILITIES IN MY LIFE....

and aku tahu aku bukannya org genuius dan dah byk 'cemuhan' yg aku terima sepanjang hidup ini..dan dan dgn 'cemuhan' itulah aku menjadi 'kuat', 'kuat', 'kuat' dan 'kuat' insyaallah dgn izinMU aku masih di sini Ya Allah...


Dik Afniey..thanks for share motivation songs.....yes...as student we must be strong
http://afnizarmohd.wordpress.com/2009/02/27/15-favourite-motivational-songs-v1/

Biarlah org nak kata apa kat aku..aku memang 'cengeng'..kuat menangis...sejak2 study phd.... airmata aku sangat murah....

Menangislah Di Bahuku - Firdaus


Ni lah punca aku down sesangat hari ni..hilang mood nak study...
Dear Nor

Your second submission is still unacceptable for the CASE section of IJIM

I had communicated that it needs to be no more than 5000 words and
represent a significant empirical analysis focus (with few refs, etc)- rasa mcm tak lebih pun..apsal he claim my paper more than 5000 words????

You are also still indicating you have a Doctorate where in the bio
you are a candidate - this need clarification for accuracy-dah edit dah yg kita hanya ada lulusan master jer... dlm system..alhamdulillah system dah OK..aku baru ada MSc okay aku sedar ni kesilapan teknikal....

Please let me know if you wish this submission to be considered or if
you wish to withdraw it ?-aku merayu supaya dipertimbangkan dan minta dia perincikan apa yang dimaksudkan dgn significant empirical analysis focus aku tak clear sebenarnya..sv pulak diam jer..sabor je lah........

Kind Regards
****************

updated 1st march;my submission mission still not settled .........be strong dear!!!!!!!!redha with all the obstacles and barriers.....

my research methodology's books

At the moment all these books are my 'close friends'....
All of this books are library books.....

Social Research Methods: Qualitative and Quantitative Approaches;
W.Lawrence Neuman 2006

Applied Business research: Qualitative and Quantitative Methods;
Robert Y.Cavana,Brian L.Delahaye & Uma Sekaran 2000

Research Methods for Business: A Skill Building Approach;
Uma Sekaran 2003


Management Research:
Mark Easterby-Smith,Richard Thorpe & Paul R.Jackson 2008

Doing Research in Business and Management:An Introduction to Process and Method;
Dan Remenyi,Brian Williams,Arthur Mooney & Ethne Swartz 2005
7 day loan

Business research Methods;
Alan Bryman & Emma Bell 2003
Recalled by library on 6th March

Sociological Practice: Linking theory and Social Research;
Derek Layder 1998
7 day loan

Research Design: Qualitative,Quantitative and Mixed Methods Approaches;
John W.Creswell 2003
Recalled by library on 6th March

Applications of case Study Research;
Robert K.Yin 1993

Case Study Research; Design and Methods;
Robert K.Yin 2009

Sociological Paradigms and Organisational Analysis: Elements of the Sociology of Corporate Life;
Gibson Burrel & Gareth Morgan 1979 SUGGESTED BY DEAR SV

Actually I knew and noticed more books that I should read and have some books had been returned..soon I will update the rest of books......wallahulam...

Hardwork week...

Start tomorrow; 23rd Feb until end of March-I have to work hard triple time and smart triplet time to make sure every task and every things that I should do work follow the plan especially my due date to meet my dear sv just around the corner.......how do I make it as hardwork week??????...erm..I think, I should not share yet(later on, people will claim me that I just want to show off only..let me keep it in my way first...;unless I'm really succeed with this 'style')...every people have their own style and of course I have my unique style where it is not too hard and not too light; just moderate and flexible.....oooppps..'jerry' had visit me just now...astaghfirullahalazim......

actually through my journey, I have been known so many people which succeed in their journey..... I look up as them as my model...especially for those are get their phd togehter with their couples....firstly off course......
* Dr Hartini and her spouse Dr Zulkifli Udin- get their phd in 2004 within 2 1/2
years and 3 years
* Dr Intan Salwani and Dr Norzaidi UiTM - now Dr Norzaidi already was promoted to
Associated Professor with huge
publications
* Dr Emma and Dr Sham - they finished in the same time....so fantastic....
coming soon Mrs Lilawati and her spouse Mr Kamarul Syahril Kamal UiTM doing at USM - they
in the end of their journey with huge publications too..and have 3 kids too....

2 non-productive days....

Honestly, I'm not too productive for both Thursday and Friday since I just work at home only since my hubby went to school in school break week for my kids...I've been at school on Tuesday and Wednesday...but actually maybe I've a few reason why I'm being non-productive(just make some light reading to Yin's book only on Thursday not Friday...)..erm..alhamdulillah on Thursday, I've got good news..where my abstract paper was accepted by the organizer...and now I've almost 1 months plus 1 week to finish up my full paper..with my interim report and my editing journal paper....three big tasks but I'm still not start yet...I'm always being delayed when I should not do like that???? actually my schedule for phd work always can't be consistent...like 2 nights ago..I couldn't stay up in the late nights since my tiredness on the day, I felt asleep with my kids as long as they sleep...me too ...maybe I'm too tired with the housekeeping jobs....(bukan nak mengeluh..but just throw what I felt in my heart ...)sometimes I miss so much with my working time ...I'm not too tired like now...yes..it doesn't mean that I'm not tired during my working time-it still tired..but it lighter than no... but doing phd within 3 active kids really test my patients and strength....this coming 3rd March I've to meet my sv..where my preparation just 50% yet....next week I've to struggle more and more since my kids start again going school.....

In the same time....

I have to analysis huge of secondary data for my 3 case studies insyaallah...what I have to do is keep preservere......although its too many-3 case studies within more than 15 'websites' for every cases using snowball sampling technique.....I hope I'll be able to focus on it since that is my interest('blog hopping) wallahualam.......
you can do it dear........at least 2 'websites' per day.....erm. I think anything can be if you have high interest on it.....

and also..my research philosophy justification still on progress....

Suddenly I feel busy too much......

Today....I felt that my works more increase and i have to fulfill before the duedate......

3rd Marc-meeting with my sister; research philosophy

9th March-due date of IJIM case submission(editing stage---fuh...takutnyer....)


and suddenly too...i felt proud with my sister when she gave her latest profile for IJIM case submission....huh..no wonder she kept busy all the time.....

Dr. Maria Edith Burke conducts research in the area of Information Management. She currently holds a position at the University of Salford’s Business School within the Information Systems Group which was awarded a 6* rating in the 2001 RAE and in the 2008 RAE rated at 75% international work of which 25% was world leading. Dr Burke is also a Visiting Fellow at the Jagiellonian University in Poland and has held visiting posts with the Eotvos Lorand University, Budapest, Budapest University of Technology and the Nicholas Copernicus University in North Poland.

Dr. Burke’s specific teaching and research interests are in information fulfillment; business intelligence and strategies, knowledge management, the knowledge economies and the way in which organization structures and strategies are developing within the transitional economies of Central and Eastern Europe. Dr Burke’s work has led to two books; international keynotes and over 70 journals, conference papers and book chapters. In 2008 she won the Emerald Highly Commended Award for Excellence for her paper on Philosophical paradigms and was nominated for the Jason Farradane UK Information award in 2007.

Today...is Sunday but...

Today..my hubby going school(after we went to small carboot at Oldham) although on Sunday...he have to struggle for his 'stucked' programming progress....poor to my hubby..I don't know how to help him since I'm also not familiar with R programming eventhough expert on that....however, who know on R programming please let me know...please help him???pity to my hubby too....he also in stress now....hopefully he'll be able to face this hard situation....

Discussion.....

Alhamdulillah, after discussion have been done with K.A.M.K about research philosophy I think I already clear what I should focus for my interim........K.A.M.K already passed his interim last month and he willing to share his experience....
I'm so glad with his willingness to share some info what should and what shouldn't~~~~~~~~~~~what is that?????

Furthermore he did mention the latest edition(2009) Yin's book(Case Study Research) at library..after discussion, I went to library to get on loan that book besides the other books related on research methodology(since research philosophy mostly included in research methodology's book...)......hopefully I'll be more strong and strong and strong after this, with the supportive surronds me AT THE MOMENT...

Currently I'm thinking on Interpretivism, Idealism, Case Study, Qualitative methods(80%) and Quantitative methods(20%) in my research...now have to think on justification for my decision....keep it intensive reading dear..... (if ADORA-the genius 10 year old girl @ US being able finish 3 books per day, why I can't do like her???????...hehehehehehe..it means you're not enough genius maybe????but I have to being like her in struggle my journey...wallahualam..try my best...)

Erm..next week...school break, it means I have to come alternately with my dear spouse....that also as one of challenges too..but just go through and handle it with 'cekal and tabah' dear.......

my ex-supervisor's official site

Prof Dr Rose Alinda Alias

I found lots of valuable info to me at the moment....such as:
Qualitative Research in Information Systems

Quantitative Research in Information Systems

UK academics in information systems

and more and not every thing can be linked here..can go to her website and surf by self...

Research Paradigm exploration-Part III.; Alan Bryman and and Emma Bell's book help me ...

Finally this book makes me understand clearly about research paradigms..This book also cites the book that I should read based on sv's recommendation(Burrel and Morgan's,1979; Sociological Paradigms and ............ )

So I can understand at least what is 'competing paradigms'

So far this terms Bryman and Emma (2003) explain in more easy words....

-OBJECTIVIST ~~~~ external viewpoint - to view the organization- comprised consistently with processes and structures

-SUBJECTIVIST ~~~~ organization as socially constructed product-point view from individual of their social experience


-REGULATORY ~~~~ tends to purpose of business research - organization description-suggest minor changes- not make judgement for the organization

-RADICAL ~~~~ to make judgments - to make suggestions that could be achieved

FROM THAT 4 POSSIBLE PARADIGMS POSITIONS.................

-FUNCTIONALIST; dominant framework ; study the organizations - problem solving

-INTERPRETATIVE; questions either organization exist as social actors

-RADICAL HUMANIST;social arrangement= organization

-RADICAL STRUCTURALIST; organizations = structural power relationships - conflicts

So far I'm still in explorations...if can, I also will be have some discussion with my fellow friends.....sometimes lonely study tends to misunderstand too......

Research Paradigm exploration-Part II.......More I read...more blur........

I feel this is my very difficult time and the very challenge time for me in this phd journey......

currentlyI have to understand clearly the research philosophy/research paradigm/research claims where this is not easy job....the long gap between 4th Feb and today,10th Feb doesn't mean I do nothing..but actually I'm blur...what I'm looking for for the research philosophy....Arggggggggggghhhhhh...this coming 3rd march I have to explain to my dear supervisor what research philosophy that I will choose on and actually I think she should tell me 6 months ago....erm...never mind(How can I do....maybe she expect me know on my own...) however I think it is not too late at the moment......

When I look to the Uma Sekaran et all(2001), in Chapter 1-Introduction to Business Research
in page 10, table 1.2 it showed Comparison of three major paradigms underpinning business research; where I feel that every paradigm that I can apply for but is it impossible????...the three paradigms are :

> Positivist research - assumes that all people share the same meaning systems; quantitative; research hypothesis;deductive reasoning

> Interpretivist research- believes that more to people experience physical and social reality in different perspectives;qualitiative;inductive

> Critical research-to empower create a better world; deductives and inductives

actually there are more information on these three paradigms..but i don't know to summarise it..maybe i try after I understand precisely and being able to articulate with my own understand...although I know this is more on though jobs..

ya allah help me ya allah...erm anybody willing to help me too, .......
( ku merintih aku menangis..ku meratap aku mengharap.....; from menanti di alam barzakh nasyid song)

Doctoral Class Training...

I've attend two doctoral class training within 2 weeks....Just two...
Last 17th Jan, I've attend on Evaluations in Phd Research conducted by Dr Maria Kutar; IRIS. The aim of the slot are:
a) to examine the concept of evaluation
b) to explore the nature of evidence
c) to provide an opportunity for researcher to examine how will the researcher evaluate the research byself

Evaluation here refer to reflection on the PhD process....
The reflection:
-determine the extent to which the researcher have achieved the original aims
-critically assess the validity of the researcher's result
-consider what you wolud do differently
-sometimes reflective practice will be hide in some research methods,
in the Phd process is still require the explicit reflection.....

Then today,4th February, I've got chance to attend doctoral training conducted by Dr Peter Scofield;MaMS....He delivered the points of Introduction to Quantitative Research Method articulately and precisely although it's quite though session....
The highlights form the session:
> Learning outcomes -he introduce the new term to me ~~~~~~'hypothetico-deductive'
> Types of research ~~~
# core function; pure and applied
# information needs;
exploratory,descriptive,explanatory,causal,comparative and
predictive
# methodology;
quantitative,qualitative and mixed method
> Inductive and Deductive Process-graphically figure......
> Tenets of Quantitative Methodology-15 informative points
> Increase in the use of surveys > Other issues with surneys > Surveys in context
> Questionnaire construction
> Response sets in survey design (he more emphasize this section...)
> Other quatitative methods
> Overlaps between Quantitative and Qualitative data collection
> Validity and Realibility
> The key issues/Conclusion.....

Research Paradigm exploration-Part I

Knowledge claim refer to the starting point for researcher a project or study with certain assumptions how will they explore and what they will explore during the inquiry.
This term- knowledge claim also known as paradigm(Lincoln & Guba,2000; Mertens,1998); philosophically assumptions,epistemologies and ontologies(Crotty,1998); otherwise broadly conceived research methodolgies(Neuman,2000)

We all bring (often implicit?) assumptions and path dependencies to our research....

Philosophically.......

What knowledge is/What is knowledge – ontology
How we know it – epistemology
What values go into it – axiology
How we write about it – rhetoric
The process of studying it – methodology

(Sexton 2002,Creswell,1994)

Four schools of thought about knowledge claim(Creswell,1994):
1-Postpositivisim; Determination, Reduction, Empirical observation and measurement, Theory verification
2-Constructivism; Understanding, Multiple participant meanings, Social and historical construction, Theory generation
3-Advocacy/Participatory; Political, Empowerment issue-oriented, Collaborative, Change-oriented
4-Pragmatism; Consequences of actions, Problem-centered, Pluralistic, Real-world practice oriented

Dimensions of research philosophy: Bringing it all together! (Sexton, 2002)



source: Part of Powerpoint presentation about “How to succeed in doing a PhD: personal experiences”-A PhD is a journey of discovery & fun >>>>>>> for SPARC 2008 by Professor Ghassan Aouad; University of Salford

note: This is my big task and I have to explain to my dear sv for our next meeting what research paradigm that I have to choose for my research and then can proceed with my research instrumen and so on and my interim expected on May 2009; it means at least on early April I've to submit the report....Ya Allah please increase easiness of my phd path..amin..ya rabbal alamin....

Later on..more about research paradigm for future entry....

Winter Sonata....

Sesekali...

Di saat-saat ilhamku datang mencurah-curah bagaikan salji yang turun di luar rumahku pada waktu ini..tetiba emosiku diketuk dengan perasaan yang tak sepatutnya ada bagi seorang pelajar PhD...namun aku tidak sekuat itu..acapkali email dari penyelia utama adalah email yang amat aku takuti..takut-takut dapat respon yang negatif....erm...sememangnya esok aku akan berjumpa dengan beliau buat kali ke13 sejak setahun yang lalu...dengan pelbagai 'tugasan2' yang telah aku siapkan sepenuh hati...hari ni dia membalas email aku berkenaan abstrak kertas kerja yang bukan kali pertama aku hantar pada beliau....sudahla kertas kerja tersebut sebenarnya sudah pun disemak oleh rakan seperjuanganku yang lebih pandai tahap bahasa Inggerisnya daripada aku, nampaknya 'kakak' ku ini belum berpuas hati dengan meminta aku untuk membuat 'proof reading' bagi abstrak kertas kerja aku itu kepada orang putih..adus...nampak gayanya aku kena hantar kepada penyelia kedua aku untuk menyemak jika beliau ada dan jika dia tiada kena jugaklah cari sesapa yang sudi untuk 'proof-reading' abstrak aku itu...erm..dah hilang mood sebenarnya tadi dah tulis berjela-jela..tup-tup internet terputus plak di tambah dengan karenah anak2 yang adakalanya menguji jua kesabaranku tika aku begini...noktah je la jawabnya.......walaubagaimanapaun mereka jugaklah pembakar semangatku yang kian luntur ini...hatiku ini juga menangis mencurah-curah sebagaimana salji di luar turun mencurah-curah lagi ..esok entah jumpa ke tidak aku dengan penyelia ku....sebab sememangnya dalam ramalan cuaca salji akan turun sepanjang minggu ini...wallahualam...