My work station...

be strong my dear..you can do it....

Come back after long silence...

Thank you for responds for my previous entry...and luckily all the responds on besides me...yes..I understand and realize that for phd journey doesn't mean that you must brilliant or genius but the most important is HARDWORKING AND SMART....unfortunately and currently my self-esteem doesn't enough to make myself be hardworking as best that I can be...I'm too afraid...yes...too afraid..too afraid....with variety tittles I have to hold on my shoulder...n unfortunately right now..my motivation too low-the lowest that I feel so, for my phd works...maybe I miss my mom n my family in malaysia so much(one of reason I think...)

I don't want blame other factors or peoples surrounds me...the most important is my self-esteem motivation....I know many of my friends too pity on me....yes...thank you for concern ..but sometimes..the suggestion that they throwed to me(eg. hire maid @ helper from homecountry, ask my mom to come for take care my kids etc)...I can't implement it now due on some reasons...it is not easy too....I know how I am...sometimes I feel stress with the suggestions...I also know how my childrens behaviour....is not easy...is not easy...is not easy...my spouse@husband always said to me...'takpelah biarlah kita susah2 skrg insyaallah kita akan senang kmdn(after get phd insyaallah)....lgpun hidup di dunia ni ibarat roda..takkan selamanya di atas..dan takkan selamanya kita di bawah...umpama bait2 lirik on songs below...

Aku sebutir pasir
Senandung rindu mendayu
Mengiring langkah yang makin tersungkur
Terlalu jauh pendakian
Begitu tingginya harapan
Bermusim lama mencari
Tak ku temui sampai kini

Tak henti jiwa dipalu
Dugaan demi dugaan menguji
Rebah dan bangun sendirian
Mencari bumbung perteduhan
Mereka riang tertawa
Aku hanya sebatang kara

Perjalanan masa
Mengajar hati
Semakin tabah kini
Di dalam kemarau dan gerimis
Aku tetap gagah mengharungi

Tuhan
Aku bagaikan sebutir pasir
Yang lemah lagi kerdil
Teguhkan keimanan jiwaku
Agar ku tak terpesong darimu......

Beribu teman ketawa
Payah ku temu
Yang sanggup bersatu
Di dalam susah dalam senang
Yang hadir cuma kepalsuan
Dugaan demi dugaan
Aku pasrah menadah tangan

Nothing to be proud...

Sometimes when I feel too hard or many constraints in my journey and to achieve my aim...........my spirit be more increase...although people surround me always look down to me...I know I'm not the genius person or not too brilliant like amanina or whoever brilliant or genius person in the worlds..but I'll always bear in my mind...'di mana ada kemahuan di situ ada jalan' and 'Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib seseorang itu kecuali kaum itu sendiri yg mengubahnya'......although I'm slow like tortoise right now..who knows that I can compete with rabbit who is fast right now....So, for those are in fast track don't be too proud...I always pray that I not dream too much in this journey......

Today....

Ermmmmm...about 4 hours that I could managed to save about 164 journals papers about human capital..which after this I have to browse back and extract the most relevance with my topics....that amount only from one database..emerald..i don't look at other database yet...actually emerald is one of my most favourable database at the moment...


erm...until now..19/8 I'm still in extracting process...it took for the whole week maybe...until today i just look back for papers in year 2008 and year 2007 only and a few papers doesn't relevant with my topics at all although the keywords contains term of HUMAN CAPITAL........

My conditions right now seems similiar with this comics...

Education In Malaysia: Are we producing the right human capital???

Today, when I browse and search for human capital for my literature review..
I found this article...

http://www.epu.gov.my/mdi1/mdi/files/Addressing_Issues_in_Education_23rd_May.pdf

It's too good to share with all Malaysian who always visit my blogs...We have to realise that our education still have to improve time by time...because of our system also it's hard o us compete with other countries especially in producing the best human capital....