Just back from met my 'adopted' baby boy...

Erm....my heart still have balance of hurt since what had been happened to me..last week (bukan tak redha dgn apa yg dah berlaku tapi hanya aku yg tahu apa yg aku rasa...tak mampu diungkapkan dgn kata dan semua yg aku rasakan ada sebab musababnya tersendiri yg sukar dimengertikan oleh org lain)...glad to hear that my BTN friend at Liverpool had invited us to attend his baby boy's aqiqah, where I assume like my baby boy too..even we have been visited Adam few weeks ago......but since his dad invited us again...so we just go it and I spend a lots of time with Adam..rather than doing anything....since like soul theraphy too...


Yes..I'm still not in good condition but the nature of motherhood in myself makes me strong enough to visit this lovely boy again....furthermore his parents also do some celebration for his brother boys too today,14th Feb....Ayeip and Afif

Sometimes, I'm confuse with myself with my feelings either I'm sad or okay or not happy or hate with somebody or annoyed with other people.In other words, my mood will have more than ten types within in a day.....actually my mood in early morning today, was so bad
( why?????????)....but when I look at the baby's face,Adam, I became calm...or whatelse??when I look at my girls make me laugh, I become happy.......,or when I remember my phd works still not finish , I become nervous, then I what I should do???whatever it is.....that is me????Yes...I do....