Must be positive

I must be positive but if I just whispered to myself just like that, it doesn't work maybe...means that I'm really need to visit another positive or motivational blogs for me to think that in our life, we must always be positive...although it's hard to handle it....that's why I do have motivational blogs list and this week I noticed one of my master class mate 7 years ago..suziyanti @ sz also have her positive phd blogs that I should follow her....besides that, I really have to listen on motivational songs that it would be wake up my self..I don't want be down all the time...... I must be strong and positive...why???it because almost everyday I will face the bad things or no progress or pressure or depress....erm....actually now I'm still pressure on my phd works in all aspects....for example yesterday.. I try my best for not sleepy but it happens for almost 4 hours at my school....I did not do job efficiently because I do not achieve my aim...then I tends to being moody to my daughters....am I bad mom????????...I'm really sad why I being so 'cengey' to my own daughters....they are not guilty but I admit that I do always can't control my emotional feelings to them...I'm always throw out my frustrated feelings to them although they're not realise on my feelings, but I'm realise that my eldest daughter always make me calm....(but sometimes..she was one of my factor to be moody...poor to her......) erm..so many lines that I try to explain my real situation..and I don't care if the readers can't dig out my feelings or emotion but I just wanna throw out my feelings through this keyboard...it can release my tense....
maybe some reader questioned without throw the comments.....'dugaan berat' sgt ker this woman????never mention her dugaan or cabaran??'asyik mengeluh' and keep 'mengeluh'......erm..yes..its hard to reveal every things...but just to share...among cabaran or challenges in myself are- easy to have lazy feelings, easy to tension, easy to down, too sensitive, no consistency, lazy in actions also in some aspects, easy to influenced by environment~~~~easy to broken-heated when people say some thing bad about her daughters~~sometimes I feel too lazy to meet people....always was condemned by her own spouse in many aspects(what is that??'biarlah rahsia')....it 's true the quote said ' it's not easy to being easy(get phd means our life will be better insyaallah...) and it's not hard to being hard'...hopefully I must be survivor and stronger what ever it is....